kateasaurus rex

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:20:00 -0400

Audio

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:11:17 -0400

this weekend my little birthday/lyn twin got married in macon,...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:21:00 -0400

this weekend my little birthday/lyn twin got married in macon, georgia. it was beautiful, she was beautiful, the food was amazing and i got to see some long lost friends. who would have thought in that small group like 5 or 6 years ago we would meet some of our lifelong friends?! (and make a legacy on the uga campus with the fruit tree…jk not a legacy)

it was also extremely thoughtful, with from-the-heart written vows, the best video ever and a handwritten note for each guest.

i’m so grateful that erica is in my life, and i guess i can forgive her for moving back to ga for jordan. i miss our adventures (some of the weirdest ever!) though. she is the kind of rare friend that can make you laugh uncontrollably at nothing, keep you accountable and will always love you.

i can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for them…most likely great things!

missing seerandrun already

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:21:45 -0400

missing seerandrun already

can’t stop

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 17:12:22 -0400

can’t stop

"Q. For an e-book developer you certainly seem attached to your physical books. Even after trying to..."

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:17:11 -0400

“Q. For an e-book developer you certainly seem attached to your physical books. Even after trying to cull them, you still have thousands of them.
A. I’m a sentimentalist. I’ve got many more books than friends, and I think I always will. Some are such a part of my life that I can’t get rid of them.”

- http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/08/one-on-one-jason-merkoski-and-the-view-of-e-books-from-the-inside/

Audio

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:05:08 -0400

Audio

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:50:47 -0400

Vegetables growin (rip radish)

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:24:06 -0400

Vegetables growin (rip radish)

my first precepts class is over. at first, i didn’t think it would ever end! now after the...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 11:28:00 -0400

my first precepts class is over. at first, i didn’t think it would ever end!

now after the past 12 weeks are over, looking back i am pretty amazed by how much i learned. (and how many donuts i ate since one of the guys owns a shop) this class is hard. it is not a normal bible study where you just show up and talk, or read a chapter and talk, that kind of thing. there is homework…every night..pages of it.

we started taking this class with the idea that it would force us to read our bibles every day, and i dont know if that worked. there is so much homework, and since i am a procrastinator, it is not like i spread it out to read every day. it is more like “oh no, it is monday! class is on tuesday! gotta do all my homework that night!”

but once i actually did it, it was crazy the amount of information ms. kay arthur can stuff into a week of lessons!

i have been reading the bible for years, probably like 12 years, but have never noticed any of the stuff she points out. and now that she has, it has completely changed my viewpoint forever on even small things.

when you actually look at and read the bible, know the historical background, and start comparing the old and new testament, things start clicking. clicking in a life changing way.

for example, before this class, whenever i would think of the “old testament ways” or “the old covenant” i would mistakenly think about the law, and the stone tablets that God gave moses. when you actually look at the verses though, the old covenant is actually the promise that God gave abraham about the seed (which happens to be jesus).

also whenever i thought of the old testament, i would think of trying to obey the laws (which they did) but…abraham was considered righteous to God because he believed…just like us. so maybe God doesn’t change as much as we think He does from the old, scary testament to the new.

we learned a ton about covenant, and what it is exactly. a covenant is an agreement or a contract between either God and man, or man and man. when God made a covenant, it was a serious thing…animals had to be killed (i had a hard time with this, what did they do to deserve that! but that is the answer—exactly, they didnt deserve anything, that is why God is showing you that you need to take sin and covenant seriously), but once you made the covenant and walked through the animal pieces, you were protected for life. if it was with another person, you would exchange your robes and weapons, pretty much take on the identity of the person you made the covenant with…which sounds pretty familiar doesn’t it? when we believe in jesus, we are supposed to take on his identity, and he takes ours.

we also learned how through that promise to abraham, we got to be included with the jews. that now in the new covenant, we are also equal heirs of the promise…pretty awesome.

that is definitely not all of it (including everything about how the tabernacle points to the new testament) but i wanted to write this out to remind myself. set a little marker if you will. (another thing they did when they made a covenant-set up a reminder so they wouldn’t forget!)

Audio

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 15:35:23 -0400

Audio

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:03:06 -0400

dancing’s done - thumpers thumpers again. but this song is...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 12:40:00 -0400

dancing’s done - thumpers

thumpers again. but this song is also awesome.

http://variety.com/2013/more/news/veronica-mars-kickstarter-reach...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 22:33:00 -0400

http://variety.com/2013/more/news/veronica-mars-kickstarter-reaches-1-million-in-funds-1200194274/

The best news since 2007.

Photo

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:39:23 -0500

Nick built us an awesome table!

Sat, 02 Mar 2013 14:23:23 -0500

Nick built us an awesome table!

"I believe the reason why a great many people think God does not love them is because they are..."

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 10:28:12 -0500

“I believe the reason why a great many people think God does not love them is because they are measuring God by their own small rule, from their own standpoint. We love men as long as we consider them worthy of our love; when they are not we cast them off. It is not so with God. There is a vast difference between human love and Divine love.”

- Dwight L. Moody, The Way to God

Photo

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:36:36 -0500

My phone rang. I groaned, rolling over in my dorm room bed. The blue screen was flashing “matty.”...

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:35:00 -0500

My phone rang. I groaned, rolling over in my dorm room bed. The blue screen was flashing “matty.” It was 11 pm but I was already in bed because track workouts were killing me.

“Kaaaaaaaaaatie!” he cried into the phone.

“Are you drunk?” I mumbled, grumpy.

“No no! Just excited to talk you,” he said in that same tone. “We are playing ping pong and about to go to a party but I wanted to talk you.”

“I miss you,” I said, waking up slightly.

“I know! What’s up!?”

“I’m just tired from running so much and school, and missing everyone,” I said. “Hey I want you to listen to a song with me.”

“Okay!” he said.

Recently Josh had told me about a song by Magnet that for some reason I felt the urge to share with Matt, right then.

I pulled up my computer and opened my iTunes, scrolling to the song.

“So how’s Joe?” I asked.

“He’s awesome!” Matt exclaimed. I could hear the yelling and back ground noises of boys paling around.

“It’s so loud,” I complained.

“Okay, okay! I will go outside for a minute.”

“Okay here it is.”

I played the song through my phone from the computer. It has pretty depressing lyrics.

“I see your face on every corner of every street
You spend you days just waiting for your next defeat
But I can only tell you what I know
And all I know is that I just don’t know
I’ll get through this if I hold on
Cause the truth is I’m not alone
I’ll get through this if I hang on
The truth is I’m not alone
I’m not on my own
& you are not alone
It’s just hard sometimes to carry on
No I’m not on my own
& you are not alone
It’s just hard sometimes, so hard sometimes
But we got to hold on”

“Nice! That’s pretty,” he said. “You are adorable!”

“Matt!” I lectured. He knew he wasn’t supposed to go down that road. Over Christmas break we had been incredibly awkward, especially with me starting to have feelings for another person that wasn’t him…again.

Even though now that I think about it, I should have listened to his warning, because he turned out to be right. As usual.

We had gotten into another bad fight, the kind you can only have with someone who knows you so well they know exactly how to hurt you. He was so protective it came off as bossy and controlling sometimes, and I was cruel and judgmental. He barely looked at me the few times we saw each other over the break until I begged his forgiveness. He finally forgave me the night he flew to the Cayman Islands with his sister, but I had to go back to Georgia while he was still gone. Since going back to school we had started a tentative phone friendship that was going great. I wasn’t surprised about that, when we weren’t fighting everything ran smoothly.

“I know, it is just the truth Kaaatie!” I could tell he was smiling.

“Okay Matty, I have to go to bed now for real,” I yawned.

“Okay, bye girl.”

“Bye Matt, don’t do anything stupid. Don’t even get me started on that frat again.”

“I won’t!” He hung up.

I fell into a deep sleep, and when my alarm went off for early practice, I was surprised to notice I had some texts from a girl named Courtney. She was on my high school team, but I hadn’t heard from her at all since I’d graduated.

“Hey call me.”

“Hey please call me. Before you do anything else.”

I noticed I also had a missed call from Matt around 1 am.

I called Courtney and her phone rang once. When she picked up, I could hear the noises of school in the background.

“Katie, aren’t you friends with someone named Matt?”

“Matt Ansier? Yeah,” I said, confused.

“Katie, I think he is dead.”

“What?”

“I was talking to Jordan and she said it happened last night, and mentioned that you and Cindy were like really good friends with him.”

My stomach knotted. What? It was not clicking in my brain.

“You must be mistaken,” I said.

“I might be,” she said. “I just wanted you to know. I have to go though.”

My brain started to slow down. What? This made no sense. Hadn’t he just called me? Suddenly, it clicked. All I would have to do was return his phone call and he would answer and laugh that everyone must be confused.

I clicked the call number, starting to feel reassured. It rang and rang.

That’s weird. I started to get nervous and my stomach hurt. I called my dad, who worked with Matt’s stepdad and left a voicemail for him to call me. In a haze, I packed up my stuff and went to practice and my first class. Halfway through, I saw my dad’s ID popping up on my phone. I grabbed my stuff and rushed out of the class, walking down the hall of the SLC.

“Hi dad,” I said. “Is Matt’s dad at work?”

“I haven’t heard anything specific,” he said. “But he is out of the office for a family emergency.”

I turned the corner of the SLC toward Jittery Joes and my stomach dropped out of my body. I started to slide down to the floor and before I realized it, I was sitting on the ground in the hallway.

“What?” I whispered. “Will you please let me know if you find out anything?”

“Yes. I love you”

Once again, I pulled out my phone and dialed Matt’s number. No answer this time and a weird screeching sound. I started to panic.

I tried to call Cindy. No response.

I tried to call Heather. She answered, breathless.

“Heather, have you heard anything about Matt?” I asked.

“I heard that a guy died named Matt Ansier,” she said, sounding unconcerned.

“What?” I cried.

“Who is that?” she asked.

“Heather, that is our Matt.”

“Oh, I never knew his last name….are you serious?” her voice started to shake.

“Yes!” I cried back. “I have to go.” I hung up the phone and held my head in my hands. All signs were pointing that Courtney had been right, but I didn’t want to believe it yet. I had to go to my Spanish class, so I gathered myself and walked across campus, my mind blank.

I sat in class, my mind numb to everything that my red-haired, extremely pale teacher was saying. My phone lit up and I saw it was Cindy’s number. Finally. Not even knowing what I was doing I grabbed my stuff and ran out the door.

“Cindy!” I cried. All I could here was sobbing.

“Oh my gosh, no. It’s true isn’t it?” I tried to stay calm but started to hyperventilate. I sank down onto the back steps of the History building. It was a beautiful day outside, and for some reason I noticed.

“He’s gone!” she sobbed.

“Who told you?” I asked.

“I got some texts from random people,” she cried.

I started to feel angry. Why was it okay to tell someone their best friend is dead over text?

“That is not okay!” I cried.

“I know, I know. Katie, I can’t do this.”

“What happened, exactly?” I asked, realizing I knew nothing.

“Him and Joe left a party and crashed the car into a river.”

“Were they drunk?” I asked, starting to feel horrified. Imagining our strong best friend floating in the water, trapped in the car. The purple-to-me and blue-to-him car. The car we had continually drawn inappropriate things on to embarrass him.

“I don’t know,” she said. My mind kept replaying the terrible images; I couldn’t get them out of my head.

We sat there for a few minutes crying on the phone. My mind started to flash back to his face, his eyes, his laugh, the fact that we had talked hours earlier. It was unreal, like some practical joke or something. But one that hurt.

“I have to come home,” I finally said. “When is the funeral?”

“Monday.”

I called my parents and begged them to let me come home. Luckily they had sky miles for me to use. I called my coach and told him I couldn’t race that weekend. I walked back into the building and ran straight into my Spanish teacher.

“Where did you go?” he asked. “You probably shouldn’t just leave class like that.”

“Sorry,” I said, feeling extremely unattached to myself, sort of like a robot. “My best friend just died.” I walked away before he could give me any sympathy. I kept walking outside, not crying, just in the weird floating mood where nothing seemed real.

My phone rang again.

“Hi Josh.”

“Hey, where have you been?”

“Matt is dead,” I said, feeling sick that those three words were coming out of my mouth.

“What?”

I told him what I knew, still feeling unattached and unemotional. I told him how I was going to come home, so I would probably see him.

“Weird,” he said. “Why are you coming home? I thought you didn’t care about him.”

I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up and my head started spinning.

“No,” I said, crying. “You are wrong.”

I hung up the phone. I realized he was right to think those things. It was all my fault. Learning from past experiences, I had played down my friendship with Matt to him so he wouldn’t be jealous and “ban” me from talking to him. I always called him when Matt and I were in a fight as well, so that was all he knew.

Soon I was angry at myself for saying those things. Angry at him for daring to voice his opinion. Angry at Matt for leaving me all alone in this. I felt so sick and nauseous—the way you feel when you know you have done something wrong. When there is nothing you can do to change it.

Every morning I wake up, hoping that this has been a nightmare.

But reality hits, and I have to keep living without you. You were a rock in my life that kept me from sinking. When you left, I was set afloat, and wandered aimlessly until God had to come out and drag me back in.
Lately I have been completely dry of emotions, maybe because I dont want to admit to myself this is real, or maybe because I know that you are happy and I am going to see you again so there is no reason to be sad.
I dont know. All I know is that I miss you. I know it’s completely selfish, but I want you here with me.

I followed him out to his car parked across and down the street because so many people were at my...

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:19:00 -0500

I followed him out to his car parked across and down the street because so many people were at my house.

“Why are you leaving already?” As I asked this I felt my eyes start to water. He was the only one that night that made me cry when he left.

“Joey and Nick want me to go over to the party now,” he said, looking anxious to leave.

“Matt! You want to drink so badly that you are leaving early?” My voice faded from angry to disappointed. “Don’t you realize I won’t see you for three months? We’ve been inseparable all summer!”

“Kate. It will be fine. You wanted to go there. And I’ll get a bike and drive out to see you,” he said, smiling. He held out his arms and I fell into them. He pushed me back so I was facing him, and looked me in the eyes. The light from the street lamp gave us both an eerie glow in the summer night.

“Don’t ever change Katie Weise. Not for anyone or anything.”

“Please don’t go,” I said, trying to be brave. He hugged me again, like he never wanted to let go, but after a minute pulled away. If only I had known that would be the last real hug I would ever get from him. I would have tried with all my might to attach myself to him so he couldn’t go to San Angelo, wouldn’t join that stupid frat that made him burn himself with cigarettes, he couldn’t go to that party, and he wouldn’t get in that car that night.

“Go back inside, all your friends are in there to say goodbye to you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Katie.”

“Okay, I’ll miss you,” my eyes watered.

“Call me tomorrow,” he said.

I tried to capture a picture of him in my mind as he got in his car and drove away to the stupid party.