“This is a spider web alert. Uncle Billy almost was overcome by spider webs. I had a phone line go out, and I had to move and clean a bunch of stuff. This made me move the lighting and I found all kinds of webs that couldn’t be seen in the lighting I had set up. These guys give off an aroma to lull you into a state of lethargy (Uncle Billy theorem #2005). It must make the bugs slower, and easier to eat. Hope that you’re behaving.”—an email justin and i just got from uncle billy.